There is one habit that separates members who have good first dates from members who have a lot of first dates: they video chat first. Ten minutes on camera answers the questions text never can. Are they who they say they are? Is there any spark at all? Can they hold a conversation? On a luxury dating site, where everyone's time is expensive, this is not an optional extra. It is the sensible order of things. Here is how to do it well.
When to suggest it
After a handful of good messages, and before either of you has offered a date. Too early feels abrupt; too late and you have already invested more than you should in someone you have not seen move or heard speak. A good line is simple: "I would rather talk than type. Fancy a quick video call this week?" Members who are serious say yes. Those who make excuses have answered a different question.
Why on the platform
Sugurr's video chat runs inside the app, so you do not have to hand over a phone number or a personal account to someone you have not met. This matters for privacy, and it matters for safety: if the call goes badly, there is nothing to block and nothing they can find you with afterward. Move to personal numbers when you are ready, not before.
Setting up
- Light in front of you, not behind. A window or a lamp facing you. Backlight turns you into a silhouette.
- Camera at eye level. Prop the phone up. Nobody looks good from below.
- A tidy background. Not staged, just not a laundry pile. Your background is a profile photo you did not choose.
- Dress as you would for a coffee. Not a dinner, not pyjamas.
- Earphones if it is noisy. Echo kills conversation faster than anything.
Keep it short on purpose
Say up front that you have fifteen minutes. It removes the pressure to fill an hour, and it means that if things go well, you end wanting more, which is exactly the right moment to suggest dinner. If things go badly, fifteen minutes is a polite and survivable length.
What to talk about
Not the profile. You have both read it. Ask about the week they are having, the thing they mentioned they were looking forward to, the city they said they love. Ask one question you actually want the answer to. And listen to how they listen: do they let you finish, do they ask anything back, do they laugh easily. Those three things predict a first date better than any shared interest.
What to notice
Whether they look like their photos, obviously. But also whether they are comfortable, whether they make eye contact with the camera, whether the conversation flows or stalls. Chemistry over video is muted but real. If you feel nothing at all on the call, you will feel very little across a table, and you have just saved yourself an evening.
Ending well
If you want to meet, say so on the call: "I enjoyed this, let's have dinner." Clarity is attractive and it is rare. If you do not, thank them warmly and say you will be in touch, then send a kind message the next day. Ghosting after a video call is worse than ghosting after texts, because they have seen your face.
The result
Members who make video chat a habit report fewer first dates and better ones. That is the whole point of a luxury dating site: not more, better. If you are not yet a member, join for free, and read our guide to the first dinner for what comes after the call.